We have just finished a great Alopecia Awareness Month & I just thought I’d put my tuppenny’s worth in. I think what having hair loss boils down to for me is choice. That is, finding a new choice of course. Alopecia has been given to us to deal with for a myriad of reasons, with our community affected by different types of hair loss, but we all have to cope with it in the same way in that at first it is out of our control. Slowly bringing it back into our control with the help & support of the wonderful Alopecia UK team is the next step which is where the new choice comes in.

When I was first diagnosed 42 years ago I felt sick to my stomach & for some inexplicable reason, ashamed, like it was my fault. I spoke about it to hardly anyone for seven long lonely years but moving house seemed to give me permission to talk about it to friends & then strangers – they were always asking where I got my hair done so I told them.

Which brings me to my first choice; I chose to ‘cover up’ the patches with a scarf or cap at first & after a year of fearing that they would blow off I chose to wear a wig. Was I hiding? Was I faking it? No, I don’t think so. I felt I was replacing what had been there in the first place. I chose to draw on my eyebrows and I chose not to wear ‘false eyelashes’- I’d only stick them to my eyeball! Are those who wear false eyelashes or false nails or false teeth or ‘falsies’ in their bra faking it? No, they are replacing what they should have. It’s interesting that no one usually refers to a prosthetic limb as a false leg or that they’re ‘faking it’ do they? It’s a bit like if you have no hair loss but choose to shave it, keep it long or short, dye it light or dark, or have a beard, stubble or a clean shaven face. All these things are available to you.

Over the years – it took me a while - I made more choices; I chose not to wear my alternative hair at my weekly yoga classes, I knew my teacher wouldn’t want me to pass out with the heat. Whenever I do a class, I feel in my ‘safe space’ so whip off my hair with barely a thought. I go out always with my hair on, I feel it’s more me in that situation but I don’t feel I’m faking it. At home I wear a tube scarf and had to choose to learn to feel safe if someone came to the door. I explained all this to my 5-year-old grandson recently, that there were three versions of me. I remembered holding his father, my firstborn son in my arms, trying to decide whether to go about the house ‘au naturale’ or never to show him my hairless head. I chose to be the version that was most comfortable in the safety of my home, and my three sons have always been used to different versions of their mum.

My grandson then explained to his Dad that there were three versions of Granny; one with hair, one with a scarf and one with nothing on her head except tattoos. He just got it, knowing that none of those versions were any better than the other, but that they were all my choices given the circumstances that I find myself in. Having this support from him, from this group and our very own team at Alopecia UK is such a bonus and although we learn from the way others handle situations, really, the choice is ours.