Taking control of the uncontrollable

Earlier in 2025, I was diagnosed with alopecia areata after noticing hair loss on my face. At the time, it felt manageable, something I could quietly get on with. No one really noticed and I carried on as normal.

Towards the end of the year however, it started to progress to my scalp. Since then, it’s been unpredictable. Patches forming, getting steadily bigger and combining. There was also some discomfort; low level pain and sensitivity when touching my hair.

I tried to put on a brave face at first, but it was hitting me hard subconsciously. More than I expected as I’ve not been one to fuss over my hair before. Seeing it fall out on my hands when washing my hair, in the shower tray, and on my keyboard on my desk, was tough. I visited the doctors who made the dermatology referral but with a 14-month waiting list, I wasn’t going to hear anything soon.

I felt a little alone. I kept thinking, 'Am I unwell?' even though I felt great. I eventually searched for some answers, having avoided ‘Googling’ – it never ends well does it! But I came across Alopecia UK, and within 3 seconds of being on the website, I felt less alone. I read several people’s stories and useful knowledge articles on how alopecia areata progresses.

Last month, I reached the point where the thinning and scalp sensitivity meant it was time to shave my head. Partly for comfort, partly to take back a bit of control from something that doesn’t always feel controllable.

Rather than quietly making that change and navigating the inevitable “What happened?” conversations, I wanted to use the moment positively to raise awareness. So I set up a JustGiving page and explained about my hair loss and encouraged my family and friends to support Alopecia UK.

When the moment came, I had to take a deep breath. I went from a close clipper shave to a hot shower, soap and razor, leaving me with a fairly clean scalp. I won’t pretend, I was not completely happy, I didn’t choose to lose my hair. However, the sensitivity has gone, and I feel more in control. It’ll take time to get used to the new look!

What shocked me, and pleased me more, was the reaction from people. It was a dramatic change from overgrown hair, trying to cover up the bald patches, to no hair! I opened meetings with a short introduction about what had happened, telling people about the autoimmune nature of alopecia; that it is not simply a stress disease but one where the body mistakenly fights your hair follicles.The triggers are unknown, there is no treatment and everyone goes on a unique journey. People ask questions, paid compliments and asked to donate.

My wife Melissa said to me, "The person who will care and notice the most is you." So far, she is right. People have shown amazing support and I am extremely grateful.

There are some positive signs, some regrowth is coming through on my face and indeed the earlier patches on my head. That’s encouraging. We shall see how things progress.

I am grateful to my family and friends for donating to my fundraising page and pleased to have raised over £800 for the charity that has been such a valuable source of perspective and support for me, and for many others living with the condition.